I haven’t done one of these in a while… probably because I don’t play too many games, be they free internet games or otherwise, these days.
However, I do have a tab on my favorites bar on Firefox that leads to a game called “Too Many Ninjas.” If you’ve hung around the internet for a while, you’ve possibly heard of “QWOP,” the ridiculously awkward yet magically addictive game where you must utilize the keys Q, W, O and P to control the leg muscles of an Olympic runner and make it to the finish line. Seriously, it’s awful. I’ve beaten it before, though. By getting my guy to kneel and drag himself inch by inch with his front leg. This is by the same people.
Well, I recently accidentally hit the tab for “Too Many Ninjas,” and it sent me back briefly into a hate spiral of “beat my last record, daggum it!” It’s like hackey sack, where you’re just constantly trying to one-up yourself. Made by the people of Foddy.net, I found this game when Foddy.net was only “Too Many Ninjas,” “QWOP” and “Little Master Cricket,” which I had no idea about how to play as I have no idea how cricket works. One must, after all, know what a crumpet is in order to understand cricket.
…bonus points to the person that understands that reference.
Anyway, this game is exceedingly simple. No joke. You use the arrow keys, and that’s all. You’re a samurai besieged by too many ninjas. They jump in from all sides, throwing shuriken at you. You use the arrows to move your sword around and block shuriken and kill ninjas. For every shuriken you block and ninja you kill, you gain a point. Every ten points, things get faster. And if you think it sounds easy, you’d be wrong. Sometimes, you will lose before you hit 10. My crowning achievement in gaming, in ALL of gaming, is reaching 99 on this game. Seriously, it’s my profile picture on Steam. 99 is nearly impossible.
If this game sucks away several hours of your life, I refuse to apologize. I will simply laugh at you when I have time and am not playing the game myself.